What does it Mean to be Kind?
Delivered on Sunday 20 July 2008 in St George's Chapel
1 Peter 3:8-17
I was passing through a shop door recently and saw a woman approaching me laden down with bags. I held the door open for her. And she turned to me and said, 'How kind of you!' It set me wondering - what does it mean to be kind? What do you think it means to be kind?
If someone helped an unsighted person cross the road, would you think of them as kind? If someone looked after a stray animal, would you think of them as kind? If someone found your lost diary and returned it to you, would you think of that person as kind? I suspect we would. I suspect we would see each of these acts as acts of kindness. And I suspect might well think of ourselves as kind people. We don't beat people up, kick animals, steal from others, or bully our neighbours; we are kind.
On the Clergy Conference held here in St George's House over the past ten days, one of the participants told a story about one of his parishioners. This vicar is in the habit of being the last person to leave the Church building after service on Sunday. He likes to make sure that all the books are back in place, the lights turned off and the kneelers neatly tucked away; everything ready for the service, the following week. On particular morning, as he put the key in the door he noticed one of his parishioners sitting on the bench just outside the Church. He took the time to sit beside him. 'Is there anything wrong, Charlie?' he asked as he sat down beside him. 'I don't know', said Charlie, 'I've being coming here for more than a year now but I don't think I belong'. 'Why ever not?' asked the Vicar. 'The people who go to your Church, they're nice enough but they don't care much about me; I don't think it would matter whether I came to Church or not'. 'Oh that's not true, Charlie, the people here are good people, kind people; they really like having you among them'. 'I don't see it', said Charlie, 'I think I'm going to give the whole thing up'.
Well, I'm not sure what Charlie had in mind when he used the word kindness, I wonder if it was something along the lines of Peter's interpretation. When Peter wanted to describe the characteristics of being a member of the Church he listed five qualities: unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a humble mind and kindness (or as the NRSV has it a tender heart). To be kind is to exhibit a basic characteristic encountered in the people of God. But Peter doesn't just leave the word 'kind' as an empty jug, he fills it meaning. What does it mean to be kind? It means, first of all, not repaying evil with evil, or abuse with abuse. No, if you want to be kind, bless. To be kind, is to give a blessing. It's quite powerful stuff, because, in the Hebrew tradition, to bless is to give somebody the power for life. To bless is to give somebody the power for life. It is not a matter of holding doors open or returning lost diaries, it is about giving someone the power for life. It is, at its most basic, the provision of food, clothing, housing, medical care, work - but it is so much more than that: blessing is making sure that another person reaches out towards their fuller potential. Now that's a far cry from the common or garden variety of what we mean by kindness. For Peter to be kind is to bless - to be kind is help another person become who they really are. And that is not an easy call. As Friedrich Nietzsche once remarked, 'only the boldest Utopians would dream of the economy of kindness'; Peter must number among the boldest Utopians. For Peter is abundantly clear that members of the people of God should be kind; kind in the sense of bringing blessing.
I was telling you that story about Charlie, the man who had decided not to come back to Church. A few days after the conversation on the bench the Vicar rang Charlie and asked him if it would be alright if he came round to talk the issue through. Charlie said 'fine'. So there they were sitting around the kitchen table with mugs of coffee and the Vicar tried again, 'Charlie, the people at our Church are kind people, they really do care about you'. 'Do they?' asked Charlie. 'Certainly, they do!' With that Charlie jumped up from his chair and returned to the table with a pad of paper and a pen. 'I want names', he said, 'who are these people that you call kind?' 'You want names?' asked the Vicar rather timidly. 'I do', replied Charlie emphatically, 'who are these kind people, write down their names. Better still, would you be willing to put your name on the list? May I write your name down?'
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